Sour grapes

1 04 2019

Sour grapes

A hungry fox wanders through the forest for food with no avail. At last it finds a grape vine with a bunch of grapes hanging from the top. The fox gets excited and thrilled. However, the grapes are just out of reach for the fox and its repeated attempts to jump high to grab the bunch fail. After several attempts the fox gives up and moves away muttering to itself that those grapes are sour and he does not want them.

Moral of the story – What you can’t have, you find it undesirable.

Like many others, I have been hearing and reading this story since my childhood. But I guess I never really understood it until recently. It makes me think that wisdom cannot be imparted, it has be gained and realized. Often it takes decades to truly understand certain things.

The above story seems like a simple and straight-forward story and the “moral of the story” statement doesn’t usually leave much for interpretation. Intellectually, it is easy to grasp. Nevertheless, as I grew up my reactions to this fable ranged mostly from perplexity to miscomprehension. Confusion because I really didn’t understand why the fox hates the grapes when he realizes he cannot have them. Usually, I experience the reverse in similar situations. When something is denied or out of reach, it just makes me desire it more vehemently. Later at some point, I thought the fox is stupid when he moved on.  Then, that the fox is a failure for giving up too easily. You notice the progression here? These interpretations reflect in part my maturity (or lack thereof) and in part the beliefs (or misconceptions) that I held based on my circumstances and surroundings. Giving up on one’s dreams or desires is largely seen as a failure and perseverance as virtue. Only now, after 3 decades, do I finally understand how wise the fox really is and thereby the  significance of the story.

There is no point in hanging around for impossible things. Impossible, maybe not by definition, but rather within the boundaries of one’s circumstances and capabilities. And when you quit and move on, it’s neither a failure nor a reflection of your worth or capabilities. It’s success instead. You are no longer longing for it or feel dejected. You just move on and focus on other/different things. Now I’m confident without a doubt that the grapes must indeed be sour!

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Inappropriate insult

11 03 2019

I happened to watch an Indian regional movie last week titled – ‘Vinaya Vidheya Rama’.  I was appalled by many things about the movie. Aside from the illogical story and physics-defying-heroic-stunts, one thing that truly triggered me was the form of insult that the villain imposes on men who defy him or his tyranny.  He makes the perpetrators don women’s ornaments – bangles and anklets – in front of everyone. Apparently, that’s the worst kind of offense that anyone can bear, and the whole town, including women, are horrified and distressed by the act.   By comparing them with women, the intention behind that “punishment” is to brand those men as incompetent and useless, and maybe something more demeaning that is beyond my imagination.  I’m shocked to see that kind of totally humiliating and insensitive insinuation of women in the current times and that too in a movie of a top hero and a top director. I always feel that movie makers have a social obligation to condemn or at least not reinforce regressive thoughts and beliefs  given the influence they have on people, especially young ones.





Digital dump

20 03 2017

We are in a data explosion era. No surprise there. Unprecedented amount of data is being captured virtually about everything everywhere. Each day we are leaving a detailed digital footprint across the web and through several other applications and connections. Apart from the Internet, myriad gadgets and software applications, each one of us is also accumulating huge amounts of personal data. It’s all over. Filling the hard drives of the multiple computers we work with, storage on smartphones and tablets, and cloud storage services like Google Drive, One Drive, iCloud, Dropbox, Box etc. Not to mention external hard drives and pen drives.

The moment of truth finally struck me as yet another of my cloud storage accounts has reached its limit and refrained me from editing. I could have paid for increasing the storage space, but that’s not the point here. I have several online accounts that I leverage for cloud storage and almost all of them are full – with pictures, videos, documents, and music. Lots of them. And it never seems to end. This hoarding.  I periodically take backups of the contents of my laptop and store them in an external hard drive. I’m not sure how much of it is repeated and how many times. I collect articles, documents, books, my personal projects forever in progress, learning material, notes and many more. And all this outside of what’s in my email inboxes.

Why keep it all in the first place?  Preserving history. You never know what part of your past you might want to look at in future for reminiscing or what part of your past might hold a key to your present or future problems. Or so we rationalize. Storage is cheap. So, we store. Almost everything. Creating a huge digital dump.

Do I always know what all I already have? Not really. Oftentimes I can’t even remember the number of accounts and storage devices I have, let alone the contents of each. Even if I remember that I had something stored safely, often I can’t find or get to it efficiently. This is not just a simple “organization” issue. Though of course, it helps. The sheer scale of the data one gathers makes any attempt of periodically cataloging and maintaining the data dumps appear insurmountable. Even more so because cleaning up and organizing stuff is perhaps one of the least appealing tasks one can do. (Please note that here here I’m speaking more of myself than anyone else 🙂 ) Especially because one has to do it regularly to maintain.

When I started thinking about digital hoarding, I immediately saw that the minimalist approach that we (some of us) try to apply to our physical possessions can be extended to even these virtual possessions.  With physical objects, you can at least get a sense of magnitude by virtue of the physical space they occupy, the amount of money you expend on accumulating them, and the resulting impact on quality of life. But with digital hoarding, it’s difficult to get the head around the extent of your possessions beyond a point. And the fact that the costs are minimum doesn’t help either.

But one may argue that if the costs are minor, why bother. Valid point. But I believe that there are hidden costs. Most of the data just lays there, dormant, waiting, and completely ignored. Passwords forgotten and accounts seldom logged in, DVDs/CDs gathering dust etc. If all that data could think, it might have had some serious existential questions. 😛 . This massive amount of digital data – where does it eventually go? What happens to it? If it’s in the cloud, privacy is definitely a concern. As for the physical storage devices, they create clutter and have some of the downsides of other physical possessions; harder to maintain and difficult to find and retrieve information.

Of course, as with physical possessions, it would be very difficult to let go of your digital history. Especially, pictures. But do you really need all of those tens of thousands of pictures? Anyways, one has to start somewhere while pruning. The easiest task would be to eliminate duplicates. Then tackle obsolete notes and documents. Movies and old music that you seldom peruse can be next. Consolidating, grouping, and labeling help a lot to bring structure to your digital universe.

It’s not about the quantity, but the quality. My guess is that when you tackle the former, the latter will emerge by itself. When you have low inventory, finding stuff and maintenance will be more efficient. There is definitely hope. I hereby avow to embark on the journey to transform my personal digital footprint (at least what’s under my control).





The cool factor

8 02 2017

“That’s cool.”

“He’s cool.”

Person 1: “I have done/seen something”

Person 2: “Cool”

“Cool” is one of those new-age slang terms that fascinate me. The way it’s used in varied circumstances and to mean different things.

The urban dictionary presents come cool interpretations of this cool word (pun intended):

  • Popular
  • Awesome
  • Laid back, relaxed
  • Very good, stylish, neat, pleasing, generally positive
  • Nice
  • Okay with each other (not nice, not mean)
  • Used when the conversation goes silent
  • Used when you don’t know what else to say,
  • Used when you are not interested in a conversation
  • Used when you do not know anything about the subject but want to appear as a know-it-all

Wow, look at that! Have you noticed the contradictions? It can mean either “nice”, or just “okay”. It can mean “awesome”, or just “nice”. And it’s especially intriguing to note its role as a conversation filler. So many connotations. Needless to say, it would be almost impossible to interpret the intention behind this word correctly without the tone and other non-verbal cues and in come cases lot of context.

I’m particularly interested in exploring its use with people. A person is cool if he’s perceived as relaxed and laid back. Or if he/she has a confident, or don’t care attitude. It can also mean that the person possesses some admirable traits. This implies that there cannot be a definitive set of traits that define coolness. They differ based on circumstances: in one setting a person who expresses his emotions and vulnerabilities can be deemed as cool by  his peers, whereas in another setting, the person who holds up a facade in the midst of turbulence is considered cool. Also a cool “guy” usually has totally different traits compared to a cool “gal”.

Here is a quote from Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl on “cool girl”:

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, …, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.”

In effect, coolness is anything desirable. You perceive someone is cool if that person possesses those qualities that you desire. Someone is also cool if they have traits and exhibit behavior that you wish you have it in yourself (courage, candidness, confidence, charm etc.). Since desirability is highly subjective, so is what constitutes being cool.

Such a versatile word! Very convenient. 🙂





Blind faith

17 01 2017

Years ago I read a short story by Khushwant Singh titled “Mark of Vishnu”. It’s a story of a devout person Ganga Ram whose blind faith leads to his untimely death. He worships a deadly poisonous black cobra foolishly and practically invites its wrath and thus his instant death. The story might seem dramatic and far-fetched but to me, it’s akin to a parable. It carries a profound moral and conveys a powerful message against superstitions and the need to exercise rational thinking.

Somehow I feel like that Ganga Ram sometimes. Many times. Whenever I’m under-prepared. Whenever I don’t have a plan B. Whenever I rely completely on others’ expertise, kindness or good nature. Sure some of them are calculated risks but still. Ganga Ram’s fate serves as a strong reminder to guard myself from my own foolishness, not to have blind faith in anyone or anything. It might seem like common sense. One may even be appalled that it has to be stated aloud. But one shouldn’t forget – everything is common sense in hindsight.

I feel that the story’s all the more significant for me because faith has always been my default response. It’s effortless. It’s convenient. Unlike doubt and skepticism, which are harder. Nonetheless, Ganga Ram is never too far from my consciousness, ever since I was acquainted with him. I remind myself – No Blind Faith.

I would like to take a moment to appreciate the author, Khushwant Singh, for the no-nonsense genuinity of the story. I would say brilliant piece of lit.





A powerful thought

27 12 2016

sunset

What makes a day “good” or “bad”? What makes a trip success? Well of course, there are expectations. Those and there is rumination.

It’s not the beautiful sunset itself that gives you pleasure but rather the thought of it. It’s not the failure itself that causes fear but rather the thinking you do and the stories you tell yourself about it.

It’s the thought that generates pleasure and fear, says J Krishnamurthy in his beautiful and deeply affecting book – “You are the World”. I browsed through it years ago when I was a teenager and this particular “thought” stayed with me, albeit a tad subliminally. I’m sure it would serve me lot better to bring it to the surface of my conscious self. 😛

To separate thought from experience is the ultimate freedom!





Are men and women equal?

27 11 2016

Are men’s and women’s brains different? In other words, are the differences in how men and women think rooted in biology?

It is an 18th century question, according to Gina Rippon, an eminent neuroscientist. When I posed the same question to my 9 year old, just for the fun of it, he basically mirrored the above sentiment. He thought that the question is absurd. When I pressed him further on whether could there be a scientific and objective evidence that there’s indeed some difference, he refused to take the bait. He stood his ground and refused to consider the question because he reasoned, the question “are men and women equal?” in itself suggests that they may not and hence lead to discrimination, which is by all means an undesirable and an incorrect behavior. In other words, he treats it as a leading question. Oh boy!  What Gina means by her comment is that several advancements have happened since 18th century that effectively and conclusively answered that question in negative.

Regardless of any insinuations and despite our need to be politically right, I think it’s still an interesting and relevant question to think about even in this century. Among the many differences we commonly observe, some are myths, some are culturally driven, while some are rooted in biology and/or evolution. Take for example, the notion that women are more emotional than men. It’s not exactly true because what’s different is more expression of an emotion rather than the emotion itself. The observed difference could well have been only a result of cultural and social stereotyping. I guess more or less similar reasoning can be given to most of the stuff you find in the gospel – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. :). But some differences do exist.

With all the advancements in neuroscience and biology, we have greater insights into human brain now than ever. In fact, today’s neuroscience sees little difference in how women and men are fundamentally capable of thinking. Whatever stereotypes we have going around are just that – stereotypes largely based on deep cultural notions and the resulting psychological impact of acting on those stereotypes. For example, take a typical belief that women are  not (or cannot be) as good at math as men. In fact, time and again the test scores reveal the same. But capability is not at the root of this trend. When the cultural expectation is for boys to outperform girls in math, and the girls believe it as everyone else, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s the attitude towards competition and the anxiety induced resulted from cultural stereotypes that causes girls/women to under perform in certain areas (Study).

But some argue that nature and evolution cannot be overruled.  Historically, men had always been specialized in competing for mates, and women in caring for the offspring. According to Helena Cronin, a Darwinian philosopher, the different reproductive strategies of two sexes with completely different sets of associated costs and benefits, lie at the root of all gender differences between men and women. This survival tendency has clearly established different patterns of behavior and thereby nurtured disparate strengths in men and women.

And of course, one should not rule out the role of biology. The male hormone of testosterone is clearly associated with competitiveness, aggressiveness, dominance, assertiveness etc., while estrogen promotes stable mood, sense of well-being, improved cognition etc. (An interesting tidbit is that humans are naturally female and testosterone masculinizes boys in the womb.) As per Cambridge psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen, who has done extensive research on autism observes that “higher levels of fetal testosterone could explain increased prevalence of autism spectrum disorders in males”, following the theory that “the male brain is programmed to systemize and the female brain to empathize”.  Is this why women are considered more adept at social thinking and interactions compared to men. Testosterone is also strongly associated with violent and anti-social behavior. Hmm! Women also have testosterone, but men of course are characterized by much higher levels (10 times compared to that in women).

Another perception is that men tend to be more analytical than women or women tend to be more intuitive than men, hence the notion that men are largely left-brained and women are right-brained. Studies suggest that male brains may be optimized for motor skills while female brains may be optimized for combining analytical and intuitive thinking. Men also perceived to be laser focused while women are multi-taskers. Women tend to absorb more and store it all in their brains compared to men. Could these differences be explained by the hunter-gatherer theory, the sexual division of labor, where men normally pursued risk taking activities of hunting, while women were relegated low-risk task of gathering rich calorie for nurturing? Or do they have true biological causes? There are a lot of contradictory arguments and lot of conflicting “evidence”.

Neuroplasticity is perhaps the most important and fascinating discoveries in recent times. There is nothing static about ourselves – not our bodies, which regenerates itself with new cells every 6 months or so, to our brains, defined by the interconnections among neurons that can strengthen or weaken depending on the experiences and behavior thereby redefining them constantly. Isn’t it amazing? Change is indeed the only constant. 🙂 As our brains are getting continuously rewired, based on external stimulation, nature and nurture are so strongly intertwined that I think it’s difficult to disentangle them and say for sure where one ends and the other starts.

From the evolutionary perspective, we still have the same basic instincts as our primal ancestors. The gender differences (some if not all) too are rooted in them. But in today’s world, many of them maybe are irrelevant. We are not living in wild and are not facing the same kind of survival problems. Mankind’s development happened so rapidly that evolution and nature needs time to catch up. Am damn curious to know as to what the next evolutionary changes for us would be – what our basic instincts would be. Sometime in future when physical strength and all other evolutionary differences between men and women become less and less relevant for survival, can we achieve a gender neutral society? A society where no gender has an advantage over the other. Well, is it a good thing? It certainly sounds like it is. But who knows!