Being an introvert

When I came across this TED talk by Susan Cain, the topic intrigued me. It shouldn’t be a surprise I guess, being an introvert myself. As I was listening to her talk though, I got a feeling that she was trying a little too hard to defend introversion and introverts. I didn’t end up watching the video to the end, after all. More than the topic of the talk, which was based on her book – Quiet, I began to get curious about my own reaction to it. Why did I feel uncomfortable? I should have been excited and felt assured that someone was trying hard to make it feel right, or better, to be an introvert. Maybe that’s exactly what my problem is. I don’t have the need to feel better than extroverts. I don’t need to be reassured. I’m comfortable already being an introvert. I never felt that it’s a shortcoming or even a less desirable trait.

Of course, I see the point that the culture stresses more importance on extroversion and treats the latter as superior to the former. But that’s not actually entirely true, in my opinion. Sure extroverts get a lot of attention, but that’s a direct result of their nature. More attention doesn’t mean more success or more happiness. I never felt under-equipped with my quiet nature. On the contrary actually.

I don’t really know the entire essence of either Susan’s talk or her book, but I’m sure she must have put forth her defense quite strongly. I don’t deny that, in many cases,  extroversion is encouraged and introversion is discouraged. More so in western culture. But it’s not healthy and, in my belief is, more often than not, the consequence of misguided and misleading notions about the exact implications of extroversion and introversion.

There also seems to be a little ambiguity in understanding the true nature of introversion and – the need to distinguish from shyness.Introversion and extroversion are simply a single continuum and everyone has both an introversion side and an extroversion side.

These musings remind me of something an extrovert friend said to me a while ago. She is a genuinely warm and social person, who makes a lot of friends effortlessly. Given the fact that she has a wide network of friends and acquaintances on which she can rely for various things,  – information, advice, help, support etc., she expressed her concern about how people like me, with a very few friends, manage. She believes that we are at a disadvantage, without a resource pool and that we must have been feeling the dearth of it quite intensely. Her concern puzzled me because, obviously the thought never crossed my mind. I tried to tell her the same and that I don’t view things the same way she does, but I’m not entirely sure whether I conveyed myself to her correctly because it was, and still is to some extent, difficult to articulate my perspective for the same reason that it’s something I never consciously thought/think about.