Abuse

23 03 2010

I sometimes wonder how indifferent and shameless some people can behave at times. Recently I’ve got one such opportunity to feel perplexed and at the same time seethe with anger and helplessness.

Almost two months back, my husband got a call from his manager that an acquaintance of him, who has just moved to our place, is looking for a GPS to help him find an apartment to stay and requested that we lend him ours. Of course, my husband said yes. The very next day, this guy, let me call him X, came and took our GPS saying that he will return it after the weekend. We agreed. In fact, he returned it a day or two later only to borrow again the next weekend. You don’t belive, but this continued for two months. Sometimes he keeps the GPS with him all week and more. We even had some difficulty navigating once without our GPS. By the third time, I got really fed up and started nagging my husband :-). He being more polite than me, insisted that I’m just being possessive.(Of course, he is right). But soon after, when this cycle continued week after week, he too got fed up. But I think he still feels guilty about refusing X’s request outright. 

What puzzles me is that if X needs GPS so much, why couldn’t he buy one for himself? He even owns a home in another state and seems well-to-do. But still he feels no shame at knocking our door every week. It’s so disgusting. I never came across anyone who would lend their electronic items even once. Not even for friends, let alone some stranger. He is clearly abusing us.

I feel like hitting him with a hammer.  I know that I’m being unfair by directing all my unpleasantness towards X. But let me confess that I’m equally angry at our inability to say NO to him outright.

I’m also not very comfortable with how I’m reacting to all this – the intensity of my anger, frustration and hatred. I feel like I’m being too much possessive. I know of some people who are possessive about things to the extreme (from my perspective) – about things from spoons to couch to decorative items etc. They feel restless even if anyone does as much as touch them. I find that very repulsive. But these days, I’m discovering that I too feel possessive about many things, if not most, that I don’t wish to share certain things with others. Even though I’m not even close to the extent of  possessiveness experienced by the extremists, this kind of thinking is costing me my peace of mind in many situations. While I certainly don’t want to turn myself into an extreme specimen I just described, I have no clue as to how to curb those thoughts and feelings. Anyways, I might be just overreacting as a result of recent series of incidents, but I would still like to be more tolerant.

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4 responses

24 03 2010
vineela

I pity u gal…Did ur hubby try explaining to his mgr abt whats happening? I hope this ends soon…

24 03 2010
sireeshaavvari

It certainly got back to us yesterday. But I’m sure he’ll come again for it the next weekend or so :P. I hope we’ll refuse to lend him this time.

29 03 2010
Sunita

Uhh thats bad.. I totally understand what you are going through, it doesnt count as possessiveness, believe me. We have been ‘used’ this way earlier a couple of times..Don’t these early-men have any idea of barter system atleast!! Always using other people’s things and paying back with ‘Thanks’.. Try saying that you would need it for that week for some silly reason and see if he takes the cue.

29 03 2010
sireeshaavvari

Well, yeah! No hesitation next time.

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