My laments

16 11 2009

Last couple of weeks was busy and stressful for me. I have been doing some reading for my course but it is the project work which took the lion’s share of my time, effort and peace of mind. Initially, I just had a vague idea of what to do for a project. I was not even sure how much I can implement my idea, the reason being the ambiguity of the validity of my presumptions coupled with my limited technical expertise. I know it doesn’t make much sense to ramble here about the project without implicitly stating it. So, here it is: “Building a case for OLAP cubes”.

It took me about a week to take back-up of my laptop, get the software to be installed ready, update the OS to Windows 7 and install the software. Meanwhile, I faced a few compatibility issues. After trying to make everything work for over a week, I gave up and choose to reinstall everything on XP Professional, a decision which proved to be a wise one.

My problems didn’t end there. While I was reading, learning and struggling through the project, I got sick. No doubt this obstacle really pissed me off since I committed myself for a project presentation in the class, which is just 2 days away and the work is only half-done at the best.

I thought over the options before me, to go on and do my best or request postponement. The latter was utterly displeasing and embarrassing to me, since I was the first person to volunteer and wanted to hold onto my position. After mulling over a little, all the time continuing my work, I decided to give it a go. One other reason for me to rush things up is that, I wanted to get over this as soon as possible, as I can see that this project has taken my every waking moment’s attention for the past few weeks, and also exclusive access to laptop at home, a privilege my husband will soon be eager to revoke.

So, I went forward did it on time and I’m glad I did it. I worked hard, learned new things in the journey and delivered exactly what I wanted to deliver.

No doubt I gave a sigh of relief after my performance, but can’t really say that I’m deeply satisfied. As you can guess, there wasn’t much preparation gone into the deliverance of the presentation and this, coupled with technical issues which prevented my laptop to be connected to the projector made the show a little less pompous and sunk my spirits a little. But I was and am proud of what had gone into my project work.

All the stress behind me now, I’m faced with a new, strange problem. My mind is in a state of blankness since that event and is refusing to indulge in any meaningful activity. The weekend was very dull. I didn’t have any interest to do anything. Usually, I keep my weekends busy with long to-do lists and busily taking up various tasks. But not this weekend. It seemed like I’ve spent up all my vigor and energy for the project. I could neither read nor cook. I didn’t even made calls to friends. Even at the dawn of another week, my sullenness didn’t leave me. I’m sick of being like this and I need to get out of it and soon.

There is still so much reading left, both academic and otherwise, which seem to be waiting for me to get back to it. But alas! Here I am, unable to bring myself to do anything, waiting for my spirits to be lifted up.

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4 responses

17 11 2009
vineela

Good job!!!…Finally your hard work paid off….dont worry…be cool…you will be normal soon…..

17 11 2009
sireeshaavvari

I hope so!

17 11 2009
Sree

You will pull yourself up.. but do it fast and zip ahead… relax and everything will fall in place.

17 11 2009
sireeshaavvari

Yes, I may need to relax. Thanks!

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