My first trek

I had been to the first trek of my life a week ago. It happened so suddenly that it left me thrilled. I’m as unadventurous as possible and never before ventured into anything even remotely called “an adventure” (with the single exception of the Hot Air Balloon feat). Even worse, I’ve never been associated with any adventurous or “outdoor” people in my entire life. So, GHAC – Great Hyderabad Adventure Club – is nothing short of a wonder to me. I came to know about it through a friend and I liked the idea of stretching my boundaries a little bit. More than anything, I loved the idea of meeting new people – people with different interests. Of course, the physical activity too would rejuvenate me. This is how I went to a mild trek (easy to medium) in Narsapur Forest (45km from Hyd) along with 20 others.

I loved every bit of the experience, even the tragedy of my shoes. Hmmm….. it’s gonna be a big time embarrassment tale. Ignorant as I am about what to expect in a trek, I was also stupid enough to rely on an old pair of shoes for the event. Much to my chagrin, they broke even before the actual trek started. But I put on a brave face and proceeded to do with the thin sole that is left. Much to my surprise (of course, not of others), they turned into rags within the first 15 minutes or so. I must say, the team, especially the organizers, was very supportive and understanding. They accepted my stupidity with commendable grace and helped to build makeshift protection for my feet as the trek progressed. Also, this being my first attempt of doing anything more than short hikes in wilderness, I had to be instructed step by step during climbs and descents. Here too, the team was wonderful in extending its help and directions.

Getting to the experience of the actual trek itself, I didn’t find it too intimidating. On hindsight, I think the reason is – I was too much absorbed by the sorry state of my footwear and the resulting pain caused by the little and not so little stones pressing hard into my feet. My only intent had been to complete the trek without major damage whatsoever. I concentrated on only one step at a time that I largely ignored what lay ahead or what obstacles I have yet to cross.

And I did it, finally. I was delighted beyond bounds.

More than the exhilaration caused by the physical challenge, the spirit of adventure and camaraderie among the team charmed me. I enjoyed the whole experience and this counts as definitely one of the most unforgettable events of my life. I look forward to more of such events  and I hope I derive as much fulfillment from them.

What do I write about most?

(Cloud created using Wordle)

What Totem Animal am I?

I’ve taken this test on http://allthetests.com as part of a reading-challenge and the results are as follows:

What Totem Animal Are You?
For 26 % you are: You are…AN EAGLE! You’re serious, concentrated, calculating, and judging. You are a natural born leader, and can be compassionate towards close friends. You may come off rather bossy to some.

You could also get this result:
For 26 % you are: You are…A WOLF! Your utmost priority is leadership and kindness. You make friends easily and steadily, learn quickly, and care about others, hurting as much as they do when they’re having a hard time.

Or even this one:
For 26 % you are: You are…A DEER! You’re artistic, creative, very compassionate, gentle, and kind. You like to delve into very complicated artistic activities such as drawing, sketching, or playing music. You’re always there when a friend needs you.

Or even this one:
For 21 % you are: You are…A BEAR! You’re laid back, rather easygoing, and compassionate. You are rather unorganized, like to eat, and may be overweight. You cry over trivial matters, often, but are also there when a friend needs a laugh.

Looks like I’m more like a combination of all these Totem Animals, so I have only a little of their corresponding traits. I wonder which ones and how little!

I’m always curious to know more about myself and quite enjoy taking similar tests. I know there are many apps, with nonstandard tests, out there promising revelations about oneself and I’m almost sure that this particular test too is such a silly case. It’s just that I’m in mood for some fun and that’s the reason I’m posting the results in here.

Of all the descriptions above, there aren’t many that I’m absolutely sure of. (I quite agree with this though – “You may come off rather bossy to some.”)

I hope those who know me well enough will either affirm or contest any of them.

SlutWalk

I’ve been coming across this issue on the Net and newspapers for quite a while now. Lots of discussions and heated arguments are being made on this and as I went through them, the issue seemed more and more intriguing.

As per my understanding, the term ‘Slutwalk’ was coined in Canada last year, where a police officer had commented that women could avoid sexual assaults by not dressing like sluts. Agitated women immediately held protest walks with attention grabbing title ‘slutwalk’ in Canada and then US. Marches in many other countries followed, including India. The issue gained instant popularity and controversy owing to its title and people all over the world indulged in discussing the issue. And incidentally, a similar kind of comment was made in India recently by two prominent people – a DGP and also a state minister. This ensued similar outrage in India.

When I first encountered this issue and read through various articles, I was convinced that slutwalk makes much sense. I even endorsed the need for it and tried to defend it in my arguments with people  both offline and online. But as I thought about it more and more and read different perceptions of people, I’m not so sure right now.

Basically, there are two different opinions about it:

• Those comments make perfect sense and women should be careful about their dressing so as not to invite trouble. People who believe so argue that doing so doesn’t take away the blame from the offender or rapist. It merely advises women to be more careful. Analogies are also brought in, comparing women with revealing or provocative clothes to people exposing Rolex watch and full wallet in a dark alley, both  cases drawing unwanted attention resulting in possible crime.
• Such comments take the onus of responsibility away from the offender and unfairly blames the victims.

I believe that the society (media, people at large, general collective psyche) by blaming the victim for rape is not considering rape as a serious offence unless severe physical injury is done. When the first question in a rape case is about the dress or morals of the victim, the rapist doesn’t feel guilty..

Some argue that talking about victim’s dressing doesn’t slight the offence. But I feel that that is not so. The prevalent notion is present no where in the spoken or written word, but still one can feel its vibe undercurrent if one cares.

Kalpana Sharma, in her article, states that “The current approach shall only result in giving potential rapists the signal that they are excused from all responsibility since it is for the victims to take care of themselves and ensure that they do not get raped.”

While I agree that not all rapes are done as a consequence of dressing provocatively ( as is evident by rapes of minors, old women, burqa clad women and the like), being the weaker sex (unable to defend oneself at times of sexual assault), women better be on the safer side.

But here comes the question – what does one mean by dressing provocatively? It’s highly subjective and may be the buqra covering from head to toe is the only plausible solution. Not that it would guarantee no rape or sexual assault incidents, but may be in that case, the blame will be shifted from the victims and rightly be placed on the perpetrators. But is it happening that way in the countries which impose burqa on its women?

The fact that rape happens even in cases where no provocation in any manner is involved, isn’t a very reasonable and logical argument for dressing less modestly, in my opinion.  But I feel the reason why the proponents of slutwalk make this point is not because they encourage women to be careless and invite trouble but because, all this dressing issue has deeper  implications and nuances.

An  interesting and stimulating discussion on Facebook reveals much about the opposing views:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=365319790165185 

In particular, I felt that the following made much sense:

“Rape obviously, is much more violent, and a much greater degree of malice and ill intentions attributed to it. Why does that amount of malice get generated? Why does such an evil intent get formed so easily? It’s because of the psychology of rape, that it is permissible. The psychological causes of robbery and mugging can be easily traced, the cause of sexual assault, not so. It is only something that happens so easily because of the permissiveness attached to the concept of rape. Once men understand that it is NEVER okay to rape, then the issue of precautions does not arise.“ 

 ”We’re still talking about whether it is right or wrong to look primarily at the people sexually assaulting other people, instead of the people being assaulted. This prevention approach ALWAYS takes focus away from rapists. It has been doing so for years. Which is one of the reasons we need to switch lenses. FIRST look at why that man felt he could/why he wanted to force himself on someone and what you can do to change that. Then look at ways of helping women fight back while everyone works to make this an easier place to live in. Don’t ever say that it was her responsibility to ensure that she wasn’t sexually assaulted, because it isn’t. It is our responsibility as a society to bring kids up not to think that women are objects to penetrate and dominate at will, but people you never touch without consent. You know why I think no one even talks about why men rape? Because its something everyone takes for granted as a regular part of our lives. Women get raped, its a fact of life, so all you can do is prevent it from happening to you. That won’t cut it, sorry. For as long as people’s reaction is “who asked her to get into a dangerous profession/drive her car late at night/wear skimpy clothes/drink at a bar” I have a problem. Call it what you want.” 

“What we rebel against is the idea, that women, because they are women, should somehow be expected to be on red alert all the time. Say that, and you are effectively saying that such men, are who they are, live with it. We cannot accept that. More importantly, we cannot allow that excuse for anyone. Maybe, on our own, we can choose to be more careful. But when we say it’s a responsibility, we’re offering a way out for those responsible for enforcing the rules. We’re splitting responsibility, and allowing a host of stupid notions to enter, and that is dangerous. Can we choose to be careful? Yes. Is it our bounden duty to be? No. It’s a fine distinction.“

It is also a well known statistic that most sexual assaults happen not from strangers but from men in and around the family or social circle. And almost always, rape is not an impulsive act, it is usually planned well ahead. And in most cases, rape is more about power and domination rather than about sex. Quoting Kalpana Sharma again, “Those who commit such acts do not do it out of any form of compulsion or sudden provocation caused by the victim’s attire, but are in fact, motivated by their own perverse thought process. This thought process is bolstered by societal sanction and acceptance of sexual assault as routine, especially against “immoral” women. ”

Coming to the analogy to mugging, say some valuables are stolen as a result of “provocatively” flashing them. The thief here and the rapist – are they treated the same way by the society in terms of blame put on them ( and not in terms of the seriousness of the offence, of which obviously the one committed by latter is  graver)?

But on the face of it, it’s sad and unfortunate that the victim has to prove her innocence (by not having dressed provocatively or not being with loose morals) before the offender can take the blame.

A woman cannot be herself in the society of the present day, which is an exclusively masculine society, with laws framed by men and with a judicial system that judges feminine conduct from a masculine point of view.

HENRIK IBSEN, From Ibsen’s Workshop 

Lost along the way

I presume we all come across plenty of instances in the course of our life, which provide opportunities for us to learn from little kids around us. Things like compassion and candidness. Not that we don’t know any of it. Having kids around help us to stop and think, they do remind us of many values and virtues, which we learnt and practiced during our own childhood and even try to inculcate them in the next generation but sadly we (there are always exceptions) now see ourselves either beyond those traits or just  consider them too impractical to warrant much attention and time in our busy lives.

Just the other day my son and I were browsing through the newspaper, when he spotted a picture of a bird perched on top of a water tap trying to get to the water droplets oozing out. He was curious about it and I explained that the summer heat is making the bird very thirsty and that the picture depicts the bird’s desperate need for water. He nodded in understanding and immediately put this proposition before me:

“Let’s put bowls of water for the pigeons who visit our balcony daily. Also, we’ll offer something for them to eat.”

More than a few pigeons have been visiting us for quite some time. They even built a permanent kind of nest in our balcony. I always viewed them as nuisance for the ruckus they cause and the resultant cleaning I have to do. Not once did it occur to me that I should offer something for them. My son’s words were like a rude jolt to me. They painfully reminded me of the long journey I made since my innocent childhood. Something has really lost along the way. Time to stop, think, assess, change, and act.

Mangalasutram

When a man ties mangalasutram around a woman’s neck, they are said to be married. Thus “mangalasutram” symbolizes marriage and hence deemed as an important part of any married woman. Over the years, or I should say centuries, lot of sentiments arouse around it. Some of the accepted norms or sentiments include -

• “Mangalsutram represents the long life of the husband”
• “It is so sacred and thus should be worshiped”
• “Not wearing it continuously will cause harm to the husband” etc and etc.

The extent of  drama around it can be understood better from movies from a decade or more ago – where women even go to the extent of preferring “mangalsutram” to the one who ties it or put their lives on stake to safeguard it. It is true that it is a symbol of marriage, which ideally follows that it is a symbol of love, trust and commitment between a man and a woman (assuming that people get married out of love, mutual trust and commitment). But when more and more emphasis is placed on only the symbol and not on what it symbolizes, it becomes a big joke. 

When one really thinks about it, one can discern the reason for this undue importance attached to the “mangalasutram” and the high extent of sentimentalism involved with it – It provides the society a means to control women. Following that “mangalasutram” is the symbol of marriage, we conveniently ignore the fact that married men wear nothing to announce their married status.  By projecting the mangalasutram as the identity of a married woman, society succeeded in keeping women in the place it wanted to. In our culture, the importance of marriage in every one’s life cannot be overemphasized. While it is true for both the genders, it is especially so in the case of women. Women born to get married (and of course, bear children), period. This follows that “mangalasutram” becomes the most valuable possession of a woman not because of the person who places it around her neck but because it is just so. While women until the previous generation accepted its importance and role without a murmur, today’s woman doesn’t seem to follow suit. She questions the norms,  and even deviates from them.

I’ve noticed a clear change in the thinking and perception of today’s women about it. While they respect it for what it symbolizes, they don’t attach excessive importance to it. They don’t wear it regularly and when they do wear it, it is because they want to, not because they are expected to do so. Some women even see it only as a piece of jewelry.

I don’t mean to imply that everyone is like that. (Not that there is any problem for me with that. ) Women of the current generation have largely varying attitudes about this whole issue. What I want to point out is that women today want to take the choice of following whatever norms that are in existence into their hands.

This attitude seems blasphemous not only  to religious groups and activists but also to many common people in the society, whose reaction to the new change is usually something along the lines of  “That is the norm.  Ancestors cannot be wrong. We have to follow our tradition, period.”

Another argument is – If everyone behaves as they like, there will be no order in the world. Well, I tend to agree with this point. For there to be order in society, there have to be some rules. But if more and more people are not obeying the rules, the problem is not with the people, it is with the rules. Change them to suit the current thinking. Blindly following the age-old practices may not be a good idea. Rules are for the people, not the other way around.

I don’t mean to imply that I’m against this “mangalsutram” or that it should be abolished or something like that. I currently take no sides. This is a very  controversial and hot topic and I found it interesting to see different perceptions about the concept. I’ve seen/read a few online discussions on how today’s women perceive “mangalasutram” and I must say they are stimulating and revealing. My response in one of the forums:

Thinking about this a little bit more objectively, I feel that mangalasutra is predominantly a symbol – to let people/society know that one is married. This is important because it avoids a lot of confusion and trouble. There can be other ways too but a symbol makes the classification easier and instantaneous. All the other sentiments emerged out of man’s ego or woman’s (perceived) lower status or religion or need to dominate and control etc. So, people kind of expect a married woman to showcase that symbol. Ideally, this is required by both men and women, Actually, men also have some symbol (like jenjam) but the society has overlooked that part very conveniently long long back. Double standards for men and women didn’t born just yesterday. Since society could enforce that on women and had a wonderfully success rate throughout several centuries, it continues to do so even today. From that perspective, there is no reason for it to change its expectation. If today’s women think that they need not showcase to the world that they are married, or use that particular symbol to do so, it will take a lot of time for the society to get used to it and accept it. It’s long way and until then the struggle, cultural and emotional attacks, discrimination go on. The same is true not only for this particular issue but for all the other gender specific issues. It is very difficult to change deep-rooted beliefs. Mere scientific and logical explanations won’t work. People should be willing to accept new ideas and this is a herculean task. But of course, all this doesn’t stop progress or change.[ I  have a problem at labeling every new thought as progressive thought. Every change may not be progressive in nature, unless the long-term repercussions are carefully considered. I believe one cannot say whether something is progressive or not right away; especially when it does not deal with atrocities like  Sati: which directly harms a section of people. While creating  mental and psychological snares is  equally or more fiendish, its effect is subtle and so deep-rooted that it is often difficult even to recognize it.] There have been many changes to the lifestyle and customs in the past. No reason why it will not happen to more and more things in future.

 And moreover, “mangalasutra” is a symbol for the institution of marriage [for the facility of society] – not mental commitment. Since there is no way to convey or detect mental commitment, people rely on physical and tangible things to make some sense of mental concepts. For example, in the legal world, whether you are committed to your spouse doesn’t matter as long as you have your marriage certificate and/or your marriage is not annulled or divorced. This is not the flaw of a system or religion or society. This is just how things can work. [The bottom line is "love and commitment between the couple" attaches importance to mangalasutra, not the other way around.]

Free software

I tagged along a couple of my friends this afternoon to a talk on “free software” organized by Swecha. Didn’t have a clue about what it’s all about and was curious to get some idea about it and also may be meet some like-minded people. The sales pitch sounded as if the audience largely conglomerates professionals from software  and information technology. But alas! there was the first disappointment when I saw a huge crowd of college students and practically no one else around. Waited a considerable time for the chief speaker to come and then started the verbal assault of the proprietary software and the people behind it.

The crux is – People behind the proprietary software are committing a sin by restricting the freedom of users in the form of licenses. Thus using proprietary software is a sin.

Within minutes into his speech,  I realize that he is preaching “software communism” . Propaganda is what he is doing, trying to influence the young minds.

I was both shocked and amused by this realization. The audacity to propagate communist ideas, that too about “software”, which is not a basic necessity or primary need, in a democratic country seemed both courageous and preposterous. When almost everything is business here – food, health, education, water, and more – a condition which majority of people have accepted in general, I doubt the fruitfulness of trying to instill red thoughts in people about “software”, which doesn’t really affect day-to-day life as much as many others. But of course from the perspective of the advocates, their effort, despite being just a drop in an ocean, is definitely a step towards their dream destination. And all the left political groups in our country are in the similar pursuit.

Achieving this mindset in a nation is tough enough. But when it comes to “software”, it’s extent of reach doesn’t confine to any one particular nation. In effect, these Swecha people may be trying to bring “awareness” among the users throughout the world in the hope that if they reject or refrain from using proprietary software, that will teach the software capitalists a lesson. The question is, will it work? Any takers here?

The more basic question is – does communism work? I have little knowledge about the actual conditions in the communist areas, but I have a feeling that it’s not exactly a haven as it is being promised to be. I strongly believe that whatever the “ism”, prosperity and happiness result when each one of the citizens feel responsible for the others and the nation. Everything else just follows. However, I believe that I would be better able to comment once I acquire reasonably adequate knowledge about both the isms.

The big eye

It’s for all to see and experience the phenomena of social network media and blogs which gave each one of us wings of expression. It’s amazing to discover how much we have to share with others – both trivial and otherwise. But the picture is not all rosy. With the amount of time people spend on such networking increased to substantial amounts, people have to realize that whatever they say or do online leaves a print that others would be interested to track.

It’s common knowledge that companies do track the behavior of users online to better target their marketing campaigns. Google reads our mail: though this raked a bit of alarm, it quickly died down as users are so hooked on to it that in a war they can’t afford to lose it. We also know about the commotion and sensation created by the now almost legendary tweets by Shashi Tharoor and Lalit Modi. It stirred up a hornet’s nest and they are still facing the consequences of their unguarded expressions online.

But these are big shots either involved in some inappropriate  practices and/or are in a respectable position in the government. They have every reason and need to be extra careful about their choice of words. But what about others – normal people like you and me? Can we get away with any derogatory or offending remark? Can’t say about India but we do have to watch out and guard ourselves if we ever want to say or do anything related to America.

Here is an incident that happened a week ago in Los Angeles:

US deports two European tourists over ‘destroy America’ tweet

This sure gives a rude jolt and sends an unambiguous message to world that America is watching each one of us and with utmost seriousness. The big eye sees it all.

It’s eerie and scary to realize that none is anonymous online. Each and every action can be tracked to the person responsible for it. Next time you want to say anything about America, you would really want to pause and think before hitting the button.

Let’s think a little futuristic. Now it’s only America, as far as we know. What happens when many other countries have the capacity and interest to do the same? Well, it’s always a good thing to watch out one’s words, be it on the Net or otherwise. But only in the case of “online”, the reach is practically unlimited. One can’t talk behind anyone’s back online anymore; one will be caught. Text mining rocks!!!

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 8,700 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

My remarks: Not a great year of blogging for me. Did poorer than last year. I definitely could have written more often. Also, I wince every time I notice “2 States” as the most popular post or “Chetan Bhagat”, “Anusha Bhagat” as the most popular search terms that lead to my blog, year after year. A big sigh!

Ring out the old, ring in the new

The past year had been smooth. Uneventful except for my modest career/academic pursuits. Reflecting on my resolutions for 2011, I realize that I haven’t set any challenging goals for me in the first place. And then, at least one is included without much conviction that I would at least try to accomplish it. I can say that I’ve been a moderate success in certain cases and moderate failure at others. On retrospection, it wouldn’t have mattered either way for me. The list was quite short for 2011:

• Register for PhD – Done
• Publish papers (at least 1) – too eager and ambitious: synonymous with too naïve and ignorant. Just took some baby steps. Got a paper accepted for a national conference and nothing more.
• Maintain weight – Done with minor ups and downs
• One book from “Top 100″ list for every book I read – Failed miserably at this. Actually, this was something I came up with out of impulse. I should never have set such a target in the first place. There is no chance that I can possibly do something like this. I pick up my books based on my mood at that point of time and I enjoy my impulses when it comes to reading. Expecting myself to stick to such an impulse for a whole year is something close to impossible.

I should really aspire for greater things and achieve instead of being laid back and content with the status quo. On second thoughts, the latter isn’t actually too bad especially when one can afford it and gets used to it. I guess most people would like to be content and enjoy life leisurely, but surely not at 30. So, I would like to wake up from my long slumber and do something gratifying in 2012.

Of course, having been committed myself to PhD, there is ample scope for me to work and achieve something concrete in the near future.  I look forward to a more satisfying year ahead. While there are so many aspects of myself that I want to work on, I can wait until I’m ready without stressing myself too much and just concentrate on being at peace in the meanwhile. And I try not to think too much about things I cannot do anything about – like, “end of the world”.

I wish everyone a better year ahead.